I let Jimmy ride his scooter today, I made sure he wore his helmet and then I stood there and watched him zoom up and down the street with fear squeezing my heart, I was so worried he would have a seizure and end up face down sliding across the rough asphalt. But he had so much fun. Jimmy got his scooter a year ago for his birthday, I figured it was safer than a bike for a kid who was legally blind. He loved his scooter, he rode it every single day and then the seizures got worse, they went from being just on half his face for a few seconds each day to his whole body being involved 5 to 7 times a day. So I quietly put the scooter away. He asked me yesterday if he had enough money saved to buy a scooter and so I told him we still had his.
Yes, it would break my heart to see him hurt himself again when he has a seizure, but, it also hurts to tell him he can't be a kid and do all the stuff a kid wants to do. Where does a mom draw the line between trying to keep her kid safe and letting him live as much a life as possible. Yes, I have nightmares about him having a seizure and seriously hurting himself or worse. But, I also don't want him growing up without a childhood or with anxiety, constantly worrying about hurting himself. So I continue to walk the line and worry about if I'm doing the right thing.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
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3 comments:
There are so many moms out there who say, "No." You have discovered the beauty of saying "Yes." Yes, let's go fly a kite. Yes, let's go on the scooter. Yes, let's go make cookies.
Creating as many positive memories in the midst of all these seizures will be a challenge, but I know you are up to the task.
Yes, he may have a seizure while on his scooter, but guess what ~ you were with him the entire time; a watchful eye, ready to catch him if/when he falls. You did the right thing.
I feel your anguish. My BT kid has hemiparesis, the left side of his body doesn't work so well. He LOVES to ski but ends up on or in the left shoulder of the run since he can't turn right very well. This past weekend he got going too fast (darn boys :) ) and landed in the trees.... way in the trees. Hubby and I are freaking out, other 9yo son, is very excitedly telling 11yo BT son how much "air" he got.
Later that day BT son says this was his VERY BEST BEST day EVER. Well worth the few extra gray hairs hubby and I acquired.
Our favorite line these days is from Merry Madagascar "any landing you can walk away from is a good landing boys."
With hope and peace,
Janet
Your blog is fantastic. Your insights are wonderful. You are handling what has been given you well. I am sure there are times that are more difficult than others.
Prayers are with you everyday;
Love Mom
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