I looked out the window tonight and saw my husband teaching Jim to mow the lawn. It quite unexpectedly made me cry, I mean really cry, not just the sweet tender tear sliding down my cheek cry, but the gut wrenching, blubbering, sobbing but good kind of cry. I never thought I would see Jim mowing the lawn. It was too dangerous to let a kid who has multiple seizures daily mow the lawn, or cook on the stove, or be alone, or swim, or walk to school alone, he even needed someone in the room with him when he showered. But since his surgery he has not had even one seizure. I hadn't realized how much a part of our daily lives his seizures had become, how normal it seemed to me to jump up and catch Jim at any time, to walk behind him always making sure I was ready to break his fall. I still jump whenever I hear a thump or a bump, I still start to catch him when I see his arms move a certain way. It is almost and alien experience to just tell him to go take a shower and not sit in the bathroom with him. Jim just turned eleven and it seems as if I am watching him mature years in the last few weeks since his surgery. He can be so much more independent and we are teaching him things I hadn't realized we were holding him back from doing. It never crossed my my to have him mow the lawn before, I didn't realize I was holding him back from it, so as I watched him mowing the lawn It made me realize what he had been missing and what he can do now. It feels like he has been in a cage, he was in the cage so long and it was built so gradually that I didn't truly realize how restrictive the cage was, we just dealt with it. But now he is free! and I can't tell you how good it feels to watch my son mow the lawn.
For April Fool's day all my sons all forgot it was April Fool's day until breakfast: I made hamburgers for breakfast (really sausage patties, eggs and cheese on a hamburger bun.) Jim didn't believe that they weren't really hamburgers and kept trying to put ketchup and pickles on his. Jim did the classic taping the handle of the sink sprayer down and I got soaked, but that was my fault, the first time I turned it on the sprayer was aimed into the sink and I didn't get wet, so I aimed it properly for him only to forget about it, and proceed to drench myself when I went to wash my hands a few minutes later. I hung toilet paper from the top of my 14 year old's bedroom door frame, that scared Jim more than his brother: The toilet paper was the same color as the door and Jim couldn't see it until he tried to open the door to talk to him. I put an April Fools sticker on the bottom of my 18 year old's new TRON mouse. He was a little angry because he had to re-start his computer 3 times before he figured it out. Jim bought a squirt camera and really got his uncle good because his uncle was bending down to get a better look at the camera when Jim squirted him. I salted Jim and my Hubby's toothbrushes, that didn't work really well because they both rinse their toothbrushes before using them. And then for dinner we had grilled cheese sandwiches, (Grilled pound cake slices with orange frosting in between) Peas, (Laffy Taffy rolled into little balls) and chocolate strawberry pie (An actual recipe I used that was meatloaf pie with pink mashed potatoes ) and plain old spinach. Jim asked “Is this really spinach?” I should have told him it was candy.
I am a exhausted mom and an artist, mom to 4 sons and one husband. My youngest son is legally blind from a brain tumor. You can see some of my work at ArtistMelody.com follow me on facebook: www.facebook.com/TheArtistMelody